The photo might be from a different run.. still is the Beijing Full moon HHH
Sometime in April 23rd 2008...
As night approached in
Beijing it looked like a great evening to run. Fairly warm, not too polluted,
somewhat clear, promising on all accounts. The Hares, Trixxxie and Dazed and
Confused arrived early at the Rickshaw, ready to go, flour in hands. By 8:15,
11 Hashers gathered for the circle, and Trixxxie set off with 5kg of flour to
lay the course. 10 minutes later, the hashers were on on. Following the first
few marks, it was pointed out that there seemed to be an unnecessarily large
amount of flour being used and sure enough, shortly after the first open check,
the marks were fewer and Willy Wanker caught Trixxxie as he was out of flour.
As the Hashers waited on a foot bridge for more flour to be bought, it was
noticed they had lost one Hasher along the way, and with a phone call
discovered that the Hasher was already back in the Rickshaw having some drinks.
So on on again, with
Trixxxie and Willy Wanker taking over Hare duties. The Hashers followed their
flour marks through figure 8’s, circles and open checks. Back up Sanlitun and
an entire section of the trail missed, the hashers eventually arrived back at
the Rickshaw. During the circle, topics addressed were such things as a certain
hasher’s ability to quote the movie Center Stage, two female hashers decision
to perform a dance move in unison when spotting every mark and Trixxie’s
ability to successfully go through 11 kg of flour over an 8km run. Oyster gummy
candies complete with pearls were handed out and beer was brought on a rickshaw
that Dazed and Confused found on the street and subsequently “borrowed”. Eager
Beaver arrived half way through the circle to join in on the beer drinking.
At one point during
the circle, one of the female hashers went inside the Rickshaw to purchase
food. While she was there, she was informed that the police had been there
earlier looking for a group of runners. Back outside she went, only to find no
less than10 policemen, complete with 4 cars all standing around. When asked if
she was part of the running group who had been going around the area, she
realized that the shorts, t-shirts and runners she was wearing would make ‘no’,
not really an option.
Over to the circle the
police came and wanted to know about the suspicious "substance" that they had
been throwing around the streets of Beijing. The Hashers were told that the
police were tipped off about a group of foreigners running around the area,
throwing and mysterious white substance onto the ground. The police had
apparently discovered the trail and had been following the hashers and their
trail all the way back to the Rickshaw. Turns out that the hashers were all
live hares and were being pursued by the police.
The Hashers were also informed
that they were running in an “Olympic Zone” and the police were worried about
the mysterious powder and terrorist activities. The Hashers tried to explain
that it was only flour and had just purchased the bag at Jinkelong for 13 kuai.
They even provided the empty bag as proof (aka exhibit A). The police were not
convinced.
Getting cold, and
having to await the arrival of the police "El Capitaine", the Hashers decided to
go into the Rickshaw and have some food and Beer. Long Legs nicely purchased a
round and Trixxxie was seen eating 2 chilidogs. After a short time however, the
manager of the Rickshaw was not too pleased with Police in his bar and informed
the Hashers that they must immediately leave. Off to the Police station it was
decided they go. They piled into the police cars and as they drove away they
heard the words “I don’t think there will be any Hash events at the Rickshaw
again anytime soon”, uttered by its manager.
At the police station,
the 7 remaining Hashers who failed to earlier escape, were asked for ids and
passport numbers. Willy Wanker, dressed back again in his spiffy work attire,
broke out the diplomatic id, and was from then on only referred to by the
Beijing police, and “the one who works for the Embassy”. With a few clicks of a
button, the Hashers’ Chinese paper work was printed out to be analyzed. The clock
on the wall read “106 days till the Olympics” and the hashers were feeling the
One World, One Dream sentiment.
It was decided by the
Police that interviews must now take place, at which point, Long Legs called
his wife in Holland to wish her a Happy Birthday and to let her know of his
criminal antics in China. With only 2 Hashers speaking fluent Chinese they
quickly became Hash spokesman and spokeswoman. Trixxxie was taken off to one
room, with his translator, “the one who works for the Embassy” and the two
female hashers (safety in numbers) were taken to another room. They were
interviewed by the Chinese Criminal Investigation Department members, who had
been woken up to come and deal with the laowai. This left, The Reverend, Dazed
and Confused and Long Legs in the lobby to fend for themselves.
After almost an hour
of attempting and re-attempting to describe the intricacies of the Beijing
Hash, Boxer Hash and Full Moon Hash, in Chinese to the Police, the question
most often repeated was “why flour”. The female interviewees were informed that
they could consider using another substance next time, such as laundry
detergent. The male hashers were told that by spreading 11kg of flour on the
streets they had wasted food, to which “the one who works for the Embassy”
replied that they had rightfully purchased the flour and had therefore the
right to waste it if they liked. The officer and him agreed to disagree on this
matter. The male hashers were also informed that by spreading flour on the
streets they were contributing to the pollution in the city. They were told
that should the wind pick up, the flour would blow everywhere and Beijing would
be dirty. There you have it, the Hash is actually responsible for most of the
pollution in the city!
An hour later,
interviews over, the hashers were back in the lobby. When asked if they could
now go home they were told they would have to wait for the “results”. Results
of what you might ask? Turns out that team Crime Scene China had collected
samples of the mysterious white powder and had taken it to be tested. Time for
the Hashers to make themselves comfortable, they weren’t going anywhere anytime
soon. The hashers spread out on the chairs and benches, Trixxxie resting
comfortably snoring on Dazed and Confused’s lap, and attempted to get some
sleep as they all had to work in the morning. They texted their friends,
embassies and fellow Hashers and told them of the situation that they were
currently in. Most got many worried replies. However, “the one who works for the
embassy” commented that not one of his jerk embassy friends had replied to any
of his texts. Other hashers were glad at this point that his embassy wasn’t
theirs as well.
After many, many xiao
deng yi xia’s, the hashers growing, hungrier, colder and sleepier by the
minute, were informed that there would need to be a second set of interviews
done for all that had not gone through it the first time. Translators in tow,
the Hashers informed the police, once again, of their fun running game, where
you have to chase the one in front with the flour and attempt to catch him. Why
flour? Well, because that what you’re supposed to use.
During the second
round of interviews, two of the Teacher hashers were overheard giving English
lessons on the difference between ‘flour’ and ‘flower’. No, we did not throw
rose petals all down the streets of San lit tun. One hasher even drew a diagram
on the statement sheet in order to ensure that the difference was clear.
Interviews over and
the return of CSI China, complete with silver cases and the hashers empty flour
bag (aka exhibit A). The hashers were informed that CSI Chian would like to go
and take pictures of the crime scene and would like a Hasher to go with them
and show them the trail that they followed. A resounding, echoing no was
chanted in unison by the Hashers, saying it was too long, too late and too
cold. “The one who works for the Embassy” offered, with a touch of sarcasm, to
run with team CSI and show them the route. They quickly agreed that the route
maybe was a little too long. They only wanted to see some parts and would do it
by car. The police said they wanted the Austrian to come, and not “ the one who
works for the Embassy” as they were becoming more and more intimidated by him
by the minute. Trixxxie, the Austrian, refused to go if they did not provide
him with a jacket. After deciding that this request seemed a little too much
work to fulfill, they reluctantly agreed for “the one who works for the
Embassy” to come along.
6 Hashers left back at
the station, and Dazed and Confused decided he’d had enough and the Hashers
needed to be fed. Out the front door he went, giving a xiao deng yi xia and
leaving the one remaining police man looking slightly lost. Returning about 15
minutes later, and playing the role of Santa, Dazed and Confused provided the
hungry Hashers with a bag full of jiaozi, some water and Coke. Off to the
Chinese cafeteria style tables in the kitchen/interview room # 2, they all sat
around the tables and began to feast, however, not before recapping the course
of the nights events and the mismatch of ages and countries of all of them
sitting around the table.
Meanwhile, “the one
who works for the Embassy” was sending minute-to-minute text message updates to
one of the hashers back at the station, detailing the going ons of team CSI
Text number 1:
“They brought a broom
and our sweeping behind us. Not a joke. Sweeping”.
Text # 2:
We’ve just turned
right off san lit tun nan lu. I snapped at the cop when he asked – is THIS
flour also the flour that you spread? -No you ninny, it’s someone else’s flour!”
Apparently team CSI
was not entirely convinced that there was not another group going around the
city also spreading flour.
Text # 3
“I’m basically now on
a quest to make this as unpleasant for them as possible. I just snapped ‘ HURRY
UP’ so loudly and with such irritation that the cameraman dropped his
cigarette. Did he pick it up and keep smoking? He did.”
The Hashers were
thoroughly and possibly deliriously entertained by their updates and waiting
for more.
Text #4:
“Possibly saved!
Street szweepers watered the streets and I’m claiming that since the flour is
gone I can’t remember where we ran.”
The sound of light
bulbs simultaneously turning on was heard as team CSI China began to realize
the value of the flour and the trail. Maybe it wasn’t so crazy after all.
Text # 5:
“They are in intense
consultations. Someone just snapped, ‘god damn street sweepers. It’s fucking
cold out here.”
The Hashers feeling
bad for ‘the one who works for the Embassy” at this point, made sure to save
him some jiaozi upon his return.
Text #6
“They are trying to
reconstruct the route from their own memory and it’s not working.”
Text #7
“I cannot tell you how
tempting it is to scream ‘open check!!’ and sprint away from these knuckle
dragging idiots. “
The hasher reading
this last text message had a hard time getting through it due to hysterical
laughing and had to eventually pass the phone off to a calmer member so it
could be shared with all.
Text #8
“I’m pretty sure they
gave up. We are driving past the jingkelong of 2nd flour purchasing fame.
Headed back to the police station. They’re debating who will have to ask me
questions. No one wants to.”
So back comes “the one
who works at the embassy” to rejoin his fellow hashers. He was delighted to
discover that there were jiaozi’s to be eaten and filled his fellow hashers in
on the remaining details of his little field trip.
After making sure to
clean up their mess, the Hashers once again asked if and when they could go.
They were given the response of ‘xiao deng yi xia’. Apparently, they were now
waiting for one last phone call from "El Capitaine" before the all clear could be
given.
Gathering all their
belongings and lingering around the exit, they wait anxiously for the phone to
ring. When it did, they jumped up in unison and were eager to hear the verdict.
The policeman hung up the phone and the hashers were told, once again, ‘xiao deng yi xia’.
There still needed to be one more phone call. Disheartened the Hashers sat back
down. A short while later the phone rang again, but this time the Hashers kept
their seats. The phone was hung up, and the policeman walked over and told them
that they were free to go! It truly was a miracle. The Hashers cheered… well as
much as one could cheer at that hour in the morning.
Before the hashers
could officially leave however, they were given a stern lecture on never using
flour again. As they were walking out the door, one member of the hash invited
the police to join their next hash. He didn’t look impressed.
So at 3:57 am, no less
that 5 hours later, the Hashers were finally free to go. With one last look
they noticed the countdown to the Olympics clock had changed to 105 days.
Moral of the story? …
the Hashers leave that one for you to decide for yourselves.
Full Moon Hash - aka Prison Break 2008
aka "the longest Hash ever"
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